Monday, May 4, 2015

Empathy instead of sympathy

I have been living and working in Dubai for a year already. Working in a place where you are away from your family isn’t that easy. I work 5 days a week. I go to the gym to work out after work. I come home around 10 or 11 in the evening, take a shower, check my social media accounts, pray and sleep. The next morning, the same routine happens.

It isn’t all that glamorous about the life of an expatriate in Dubai. We try to meet ends on a daily basis. For a single woman like me, as much as I can, I send my money back home. It is up to my mother if she will spend my hard earned money or not. But, what really made me realized big things was when I met an accident last Sunday, May 3, 2015.

I am working in Business Bay. I prepare myself to leave the office when the clock strikes at 5:45pm. I usually take the bus when going to the metro at 6.  Yesterday, I met an accident. It was around 6:20pm at Al Abraj Street while waiting for a bus that would take me to the metro when a gray car hit me on my back causing myself to be thrown on the sand. I was on the phone with my colleague when it happened. I told him I got hit by a car outside of our office building. I was blacked out for merely 5 seconds and I didn’t know what to do.  I stood up but I felt pain on my back that’s why I ought to kneel down. A Pakistani guy, who considers himself as a Local because according to him he was born and raised in the UAE, went out of his car and started to speak Arabic which I couldn’t understand. All I understood was WALLAH. It means swear. Maybe he was telling his friend that time that he didn’t see me. I was furious because of what he did. He asked me if I need ambulance. I told him to call one. He then did but then his friend told him to take me to the hospital instead of waiting for an ambulance.

An old Indian woman came up to me and asked me if I would like to stand up because she could see I am in pain. Due to my being restless and already tensed, I told her that I don’t need to stand up. At that instance, I called my friend to tell her that I got hit by a car and asked her if she could accompany me along with the two guys. I decided to stand up all by myself amidst the back pain I am experiencing. The two guys went inside the car already. I told myself not to ride the car unless they open the door for me. A few seconds has passed and the friend of the Pakistani guy opened the door for me. 

As we were on the way to pick up my friend who was waiting for me in the metro, I thought of one thing. I felt pain on my chest. I know it isn’t because of the impact of the accident but because when it happened 10 or more Filipino Kabayans saw what happened and neither one of them came to me and asked me if I am alright or extended their helping hands. I always say in my social media accounts that I am proud to be a Filipino. But, where is the proudness in there? I was teary eyed because I know, as a nurse and as a human being, if I see a fellow Filipino on her knees and feeling helpless, I will definitely without any second thoughts extend help. Sorry for being frank but I could say that those fellow Filipinos who just looked at me yesterday when I know I needed their helping hands the most are a total “MGA NGA NGA at WALANG PAKI”. I know they are educated but they don’t have that passion of extending help to those who are in need. In reality, there are some who are passionate enough to be of help to others. There are also who are not and personally all those kabayans who just looked at me were a total mess in regards with their human values. I will not further speak bad against them but you should know where this is coming from.

I am grateful for that old Indian lady who came up to me and asked me if I need help. Thank you for being real. Thank you for being the person you are. Thank you for being nice and kind to me although I never expected at first that other nationality will help me and show me compassion. I promise myself to look for you starting tomorrow although I didn’t recognize your face properly but they say when you need something, you will get it. And I need to extend my gratitude to you. So help me God in finding you to extend my gratitude. Thank you so much!

We went to a hospital in Dubai and reported the matter to the police and for a medical check up just to be completely sure that all is well with me. According to my medical report, all is fine and nothing to be worried about. When I felt the urge to urinate, I asked my friend to accompany me to the washroom. I peed and somewhat the pain on my back has subsided. 

What I didn’t like the most was how the Pakistani guy treated me. He thinks I am an uneducated person who would just give in to what he will say. Sorry mister but you are barking on the wrong tree. I am a transparent person. I speak what I think. Every time he tries to cut me off during a conversation, I didn't allow him to do so and I told him to listen to me if he wants me to listen to him. We were like Mayweather and Pacquiao in the hospital. I could say he is definitely ARROGANT. I kept telling him that. I even have a video copy of our heated conversation while waiting for me to be seen by the doctor. There goes my being a “researcher”. Yes, ethically or unethically, I did take a video of the conversation. Included in the video is a heated conversation between my friend and I and the two guys. He said he will just give us his mobile number and he will leave because he was in a rush. We told them to finalize all of this and we will all leave together. It’s not like he just hit a street dog and leave them in a veterinary clinic and if anything happens, he’s just a phone call away. Well, even in reality, if I was put in that situation, I wouldn’t leave a poor dog and ran off from my responsibility.  The bottom line is I am his responsibility. Hours passed and still a lot of arguments and word war’s happening. I am a self confessed “maldita” and I speak what’s on my mind. I don’t care who he is. He was telling me he was born and raised in the UAE and he told me he isn’t a Pakistani and he’s a Local. I don’t want to dwell on that, really. It is his statement.

The doctor told me to take the medical report along with the police report to Burdubai Police Station. I told the Pakistani guy also about that one. At that instance, the tone of his voice changed. He wasn’t raising his voice anymore. He is speaking calmly and he was smiling and bringing in jokes to me.

My friend and I sat at the back of his car. We were talking about him while we were on the way to the police. I told my friend I will not file or open a case against him. I just want him to learn a lesson from all of these. As we were on our way to the police, I asked him to head directly to the parking lot instead of dropping us off in the entrance of the police.

I went out of his car and sat in the passenger seat in front. I told him I don’t have any plans to open a case against him. I just want him to learn something. It is his responsibility to take me to the hospital, to see to it that I am fine and take me home where I should be at the first place. I even told him to take his car for a carwash because that’s one reason why he didn’t see me on the rear view mirror – his rear window glass was so dirty that I myself couldn’t see anything. He was just relying on his side view mirrors. I suggested him to be more careful the next time and to be responsible in driving. WTH! He even stepped on the brake without my friend sitting first. She was just one foot in and he hurriedly stepped on the gas pedal. You could see how irresponsible he is. To make it short, after all of the word war and heated arguments, we both shook hands and even if he is a stranger to me, I felt sincerity in there. The bottom line is I told him I am not a bad person and I don’t intend to have more problems here in Dubai. I was telling them earlier to show compassion and be more humane in treating me not just because I am in dire need of help but because I am a woman and a nurse. I was hurting inside because back home, I am the one doing this for my patients. I help and take care of others. I show empathy instead of sympathy.

It’s not just I learned one thing. I learned a lot of things. I learned how to be grateful because God opened up my eyes to what Dubai is and how the people are here. It widen my perspective of what life is for. I prayed to God and thanked Him because He was guiding me all throughout. I hope the guy also learned something from this. I could see my sister in him because he’s of same age as her and I also have a brother. The Pakistani guy even told me that he informed his mother and I laughed because his mother told him,“Go home and I will teach you a lesson.” And how unfortunate of me, he told me that he will be working in the same building where I am also working. Guess it won’t be the last time that he will see me and vice versa. That’s how life is. Hahaha.

As for fairness and equality, I also informed my boss and my family back home what happened to me. As from a famous quote from the movie 3 IDIOTS, “ALL IS WELL.”


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